carry on

is it even possible to move on from so much failure? 

yes,but how much more energy do i need to put in to do it? it’s so tiring and i don’t know if i can continue on.

i told myself i can control myself, i can take charge of my own life, but i don’t seem to be doing it. i know talk is cheap, and actions speaks louder than words, i tell that to people but i don’t do it myself. such a disgrace, and its so ironic.

besides that fact, its also around time i start meeting new people. there would always be that fear that i would be awkward and i find it hard to talk to new people. i try to open up to people,to be less shy around people i have just met. but there is that voice inside me that constantly tells me that people will judge me because i am quite weird and different. 

i have to really look past that and start anew. its a little scary, but i really hope that i would be just fine. 

a new environment means change, change can be good or bad, or i am really hoping that this change will be a good one.

and besides environment change, i am also hoping i would be able to make small changes to my life, psychologically,emotionally and physically.

its not going to be an easy change, and i am real hoping that when everything starts and i can get on with the schedule of my life for the net 4 years, things will get better, and i want to really start feeling better about myself. because lately it has not been so easy.

i have yet to still meet my goals about doing what i wanna do next year, and because of some major setbacks in life in the beginning of the year, i am quite afraid that everything has to be pushed back. 

even after any setbacks, we have to still stand back on our own two feet, and continue. 

because sometimes the wrong choices would lead us to the right place. 

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